This Little Prayer I Say

On stormy dark nights,
And new mornings
Busy afternoons,
And scuffling through evenings
I am afraid of
This little prayer I say
In my mind
“If it’s good for me, make it stay
If not, let it go”

My heart wrenches the next moment
As the roads get empty
Paving the storms to build inside
When the prayer gets answered



Beneath the strong exterior
Lies a vulnerable interior
Beneath the steady heart
Lies a weak pulse
Come closer, pull the mask of a stern face
And you shall find a tearful child
Waiting to be hugged and made yours
Tugging away, only as she reminds herself
The world is a battle field
Not for the weak
She shields herself yet again
Masked soul and stealth shoulders
Marching ahead without flinching an eyelid


That morning I stared at your profile
For as long as it appeared infinity
Seen you several times before
Bit my lower lip
Wondering how your eyes would look back at me

Mustering up my courage
I knocked on your window
Forgetting all about it
Till I saw your note

Love lost
Skipped a heart beat
And said to myself
Now or never
It began with apprehensions
Tight as a knot in my gut
I asked for time
You said I have to speed up
Silent I was
When you flared that moment
Thinking is this what I want

A few minutes to myself
Felt like a decade
Closed my eyes and grit my teeth
Something about you
Had already stirred my soul

I’d never find that out
Had I stepped back
As I now look at it
’twas the best kick from my gut

When I lay my eyes on you
That very moment I knew
You are already mine
To be cherished for
As long as I breathe,
Lie in a coffin
Reduce to ashes and settle as dust

Fallen I am for you
Like I never before did
I nod in harmony
To the musical notes you leave behind
For every word you say,
I answer “I do”


The lands have been parched
For so long now
That I hardly can remember
The last time water trickled through it
Seeping deep down the terrain
Quenching the thirst of the earth
Filling the soil with its wetness

Innumerable days
When the clouds go flying by
I look up to the sky
Waiting for the nimbus to take shape
And shower upon the trinkets
And there comes the sun again
Clearing the shadow

Today it’s different
It’s a slower pace
And here I gasp
When I see it hovering
Swelling in its dimension
And before it can burst
I feel like running up the hill
Exhilarated by the thought
I feel like writing poetry
As the wind blows
A thousand times inside me
Waiting for the pour

Here I see myself stand still
As I slowly open my eyes
Under the cloud
Seeing it grow dark
Praying for a descend


For the dirt you create of me
For the non-responsive look you hold
Distant eyes overlooking my being
Bleed and angst in my heart
Volley of anger words spit at you
Accusation and more of hatred
Every thought minced with unreasonable feelings of mistrust
Spontaneous likelihood of worst predictions
Dislike of the source of acquaintance
Despair in the eyes, shaken voice
And full blown an emotional burst

Lost and damaged it is
Two people, you and I
Not affected so we assume
The face says a slow wither
The mind says a lot rapidly
We have nothing to do with each other
But the body sways towards one another
The nerves say, hang on!

Dirt belongs to the soil and earth
Bland may be the perception
Tired eyes look for a place to rest
Far away from the routine
The fluid is the pumping energy
That pushes not to stop
As anxiety gets a better grab
When I say nothing at all,
The words rarely perpetuate
Totally spaced out to receive an appreciation
Let alone accusation
Communication or a miss of it
All that takes trust to dwindle
Negativity emerges, when the devil within refuses to negotiate
It’s a matter of minute’s likes and dislikes
That takes the final shape

A transformation rare a feat
But makes the world so much more beautiful
Than it were
With us now standing at the same side of the stream
There you go beating my heart again

Addiction As They Say

The smell of it intoxicates my brain
I can feel my throbbing pulse push my body out
The pressure more than what I can handle
Pushing me to the edge of a burst out
I can feel it falling apart
How badly I still try to hold it tight

The warm blood racing through my mind and to my heart
Burning me from within the flames of angst
As desperation strengthens its grip over me
The desire to get it just this one time for the craving
Tomorrow would begin the process of halting the compulsion
And the thousands of time I go over it in my head
Of not falling to temptations

The mere sight and sense of which
Makes me weak from inside
The inner drool for want of more
Despite the waste it creates of me
And the hollow dump that keeps pilling up

The restlessness when I strive past its prick
The gasping moment of rejection
A dejected me with my soul synchronizing to the tear
Of the crossover the stab dug on my chest

Killing life forms inside out
Screaming my insecurity at the picking hand
Broken hearts of people who care for me
Shattered dreams, I once built for self

Addiction as they say
Kills it all
Much before the coffin closes at the face