Bitter Sweet Relations

Each morning I would get up
And the most beautiful smile would look upon
I would be hugged and kisses were meant to make my day happier
My tiny hands could just be able to clutch the fingers
And I would be lifted to get the whole of the touch
This touch is so amazing
The day I am born onwards I can make out the difference
The care and nurture is showered upon beyond comparison
With no expectations as a return
The eyes are clear and crystal
Which reflected just one thought
You are from within me, and I will nourish you

My hands are no longer tiny
I’ve stopped running around her
Have started keeping secrets
Gotten myself strangers as friends
Whom I claim understand me better than her

Yet, when I see her, her eyes show the same clear and crystal affection
It has gotten no less than it were the very first day, she saw me
Or five years back when my world meant how she saw it

With the hands I too grew vertically
Crossing the threshold of adulthood long time back
She has now dreams being cultivated of seeing me all dressed up at the D day
Like she always saw me as an angel
But I have different lines to follow
Every thought becomes a contrary factor
I’ve grown old according to me
I can take control of my decisions
People I have, who yes indeed understand me better
Coz I didn’t give her a chance to look into me

I distanced myself for I couldn’t express
I knew she would be in a dilemma
As how to respond to what I feel

Years gone by, I and she are like complete strangers
She begs to accept the stranger and make her the closest confidante
Coz she knows I’ve grown bitterness over the years
And now am venting it all up whenever I can

Her eyes sparkle at the very thought of me
Her day starts and ends with my being
But the headstrong me, who can’t allow intrusion into my self
Coz I’ve changed, am no longer her sweet kid
Day by day, my convictions about certain things enforcing way to be concrete

Times have been when out of concern
She spilt the beans before somebody
It was told in complete confidence
And now it was out

The days I’ve lashed at her
The poison darts that pricked her each time i had something to tell her
The tears she hid from me
The unreachable hands she always extended towards me
The me walking past her without any reflection

Here I sit each moment with just one thought coming across
I am nothing without her
I would have been long dead but for her
I need her as a backbone
For she means everything to me
My being, my self, my touch, my thoughts, my life

Even though I need to cover several miles to reach her
Which are all self created
Maybe I prefer it that ways
Yet, I have all songs to sing for her
I have all smiles that belong to her

I wish to be a tiny girl
Unaffected by the sudden changes around
I wish to be carefree and drown all my inhibitions
I wish to clutch the fingers yet again
For they give me the security I seek

One look at her face and I know she’s absorbed everything
Making me numb for as long as I’m with her
The joyous days and minutes spent together
In celebration of the biggest joy of the world
A mother and daughter can enjoy

The lending of the key to the door
Which always has a welcome note
That says I can walk in any day I’m troubled
The crystal clear, glistening eyes in await of me
The wonderful touch I look forward to
The warm her I love snuggling next to

Despite the extra miles I created
Which I need to cover
Sometimes of which I feel, one look is enough to talk a lot
And other times I feel
Feelings beyond words always keeps me around her

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